Mark Clark

Mark Clark is an Aussie songwriter, scriptwriter, voice over, author and drama coach. He was Pip in the ABC's version of Ethel Turner's Seven Little Australians.

Choose your school's next play today...

Click the 'Learn More' button to listen to songs from each of the plays, peruse the cast list, etc.


Pirates, Parrots and Penguins

Kind: Musical
Genre: Comedy
Rating: G
Cast size: 25, plus penguins
Approximate runtime: 1 hr 30 mins

Captain Chook, his parrot, Bono and his penguin, Goldstein, are taking the Tasmanian Princess home. Love is in the air but Captain Cambridge tries to spoil the party.

CHOOK : Right. Well, steer a course for straight ahead. I'm going to retire below for twenty winks.
NAVIGATOR : Shouldn't that be forty winks, sir?
CHOOK  : I've only got one good eye, boy.

Stooge: The Anti-Scrooge

Kind: One-act stage play
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG
Cast size: 23 (or 10 with doubling)
Approximate runtime: 35 mins

This is a comedic reversal of ‘A Christmas Carol’ by Charles Dickens. Stooge is an employer blind to what was, is and will be going on behind his back until the ghosts show him. Gradually, he turns from an affable, gullible, happy man into a cynic who sacks the lot of ‘em.

STOOGE: So life isn’t a wonderful miracle?
GHOST 3: Mate, I’ll tell you what a miracle is - it’s getting’ through life without murdering someone. That’s a miracle.

Wayne Kerr High (Lou Zir High)

Kind: Musical
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG
Cast size: 37, plus tap dancers, plus dance team
Approximate runtime: 2 hrs

Miss Winterbottom plans to take over Wayne Kerr High with the help of Mr Spotrinse. A high school soapie played on several stages around the audience.

SPOTRINSE: Going through my records I see that over the past six years you have been here, Ms Worktarool, you have never failed to take your full fifteen days annual sick leave.
WORKTAROOL: I have a right to take those sick days.
SPOTRINSE: You have a right to take sick days, Ms Worktarool, not a responsibility.

Ponsemby's Castle

Kind: Musical
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG
Cast size: 27, plus dancing girls
Approximate runtime: 1 hr 55 mins

Upper class English twit, Ponsemby, has cut down all but three trees in his forest. There are forest animals; a conservationist; four twits; three talking trees; two lumberjacks; a witch and very little plot.  (Please boo where required).

PONSEMBY: Yes, I am commanding and decisive aren't I? Intelligent, charming and devilishly handsome too, wouldn't you say? And modest to boot. Though I really don't know why I'm modest; I certainly have no reason to be.

The Land of Dreams

Kind: Musical
Genre: Comedy
Rating: G
Cast size: 24 (but as low as 8 with doubling)
Approximate runtime: 50 mins

A one act musical comedy for the whole family.

Join Julian and Juliana in their journey to The Land of Dreams where they meet pirates, a parrot, penguins, a leopard seal, four twits, three hillbillies, a jester, the Dream Master and an accountant. But whose dream is it? Uncle Mike knows and so will you if you read the script.

EMMA: Well, whatever you say, honey. All I know is what I know and what I don’t know is a hell of a lot more. That’s all I know.

Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Kind: Stage play
Genre: Drama/Musical
Rating: G
Cast size: 15, plus sea creatures and wedding party
Approximate runtime: < 1 hr

Some years ago, we put Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s ‘The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" to music and toured NSW schools with it as a PowerPoint. We sang over the music and presented it to students. At that time we decided to imagine it as a stage play. We have outlined the possibilities for stage production around the original poem and all of the music is available, with and without lead vocals, depending upon your requirements. This version has never seen the light of stage.

The audience sits on three sides of the thrust stage which projects out in the form of a ship’s prow. The fore portion of the ship is visible and the mainsail is the backdrop which acts as a projection screen at various times in the performance. Under the mainsail and behind are exits right and left. There is a space around the ship (between the ship and the audience) of several metres where the sea creatures and water snakes will later swim.

Dodge City

Kind: Musical
Genre: Western
Rating: G
Cast size: 20
Approximate runtime: 2 hrs

Dodge City Kansas – 1879. Wyatt Earp is long gone and the new sheriff has a drinking problem. Gunslinger, Jimmy Hackett, is terrorising the town; Sally is in love with Daniel; he is in love with Virginia and she is not interested in men from the South.

SALLY:     I can’t believe I am hearing this, boys. What is it about men and guns?
RAMONE: We respect a man if he knows how to use one.
SALLY: Guns are gonna be the scourge of this great country for decades to come and all you boys can do is sing the praises of a heartless killer just because he knows how to pull a trigger.

Once Upon a Spacetime

Kind: Musical
Genre: Comedy
Rating: G
Cast size: 23 on stage, plus dance team, plus football hooligans, 10 on video only, plus lots of extras
Approximate runtime: 2 hrs 10 mins

Things went wrong on a space arc sent from Earth over six hundred years ago. There was supposed to be a population of several thousand reaching Proxima Centauri but only ten people made it and they’ve eaten all the cryogenically frozen scientists. When they arrive a faster ship has already set up a police start on Proxima. Will Einstein’s brain be able to save them?

COMMANDER STRONG: The year is 2210. Earth, we have some big problems up here. No one reads. They watch video discs. I heard some kids arguing over who was the better actor, Moses or Charlton Heston. Everything is getting mixed up. I just don’t know where we go from here. God help us all. 

The Gods' Show

Kind: Musical
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG
Cast size: 38, plus gangsters, plus penguin chorus
Approximate runtime: 2hr 5 mins

The Roman Gods intend to steal Mount Olympus from the Greek Gods but who is that guy in the cricket gear with the halo on his helmet?

DIONYSUS: And have you seen his dog, Cerberus? It’s a Tasmanian dog- it’s got three heads.

Songs from the Bunker

Kind: Musical
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG
Cast size: Medium (22 people)
Approximate runtime: 1 hr 50 mins

Epstein Pearl is Hitler’s doppleganger. The Gestapo got him; the allies are about to break down the walls to the bunker and he’s gonna take the fall or the Fuhreur. But what’s all this got to do with ‘The Sound of Music’?

EPSTEIN: Seriously though, guys, why did you get involved with the Nazi Party?
GOEBBELS: Are you kidding? You have seen my vife und six daughters. I joined ze Nazi Party for some peace.
GOERING: I just joined because I heard zere vas a party.
EPSTEIN: What about you, Heinrich?
HIMMLER: I vanted to hurt as many people as I possibly could.
EPSTEIN: I admire a man with an objective.

COMING SOON

School Reunion (Coming Soon)

Kind: Musical
Genre: Comedy
Rating: TBA
Cast size: TBA
Approximate runtime: TBA


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